就活から逃げるのは悪いことなのか。23歳女、就職せずに移住しました。

わたしはこの春大学を卒業します。残念ながら就職先は決まっていません。

これからの人生どうなっていくのかってたまに焦ります。

 

でも実は今その不安よりも謎のやったたぜ感があります。

就職どころか就活すらしなかったことで得たものを、書かしていただこうかと。ほんじゃっいってみよー。

 

 

就職合戦から逃げだした学生時代

そもそもエントリーシート出してない

 

 

 

去年の3月頃、ちょうど企業の就活が解禁になる時期にわたしはアフリカにいました。

 

別にアホだから逃亡したんじゃないよ。

大企業めざして就活するのか、それとも自分が求める人生を追求するのか。って悩んで

悩んだ結果「やっぱりアフリカに行くわ。」って両親に伝えて、というか謝って、3ヶ月で35万貯めてアフリカに向かいました。

 

結果なにが得れたかって、分かりません。ただ帰国後は硬い軸みたいなのが自分の中にできていました。

 

2ヶ月後久しぶりに大学にいったら、みんなリクルートスーツ着てエントリーシート書いてた。

茶髪もきっちり黒く染められていて、ザ就活合戦って感じでした。

大企業、グループディスカッション、自己分析、キャリアアップ…そんな言葉が耳に入るようになってきて、

まわりのみんなが鬱々として自信喪失していく姿をみて、

 

「自分には絶対ムリだ。」って確信しましたね。

 

 

 

就活から逃げるのは悪いことなのか

 

 

それで就活しませんでした。いや、できませんでした。要するに逃げたんですよ、就活合戦から。

頑固なもんで、就活に関する一切の情報をかたくなにシャットアウトしたんです。

 

なぜって、大切な自分が無意味に傷つくのが目に見えたからです。

 

例えば英語を話せるから優秀だ。とかコミニュケーションスキルが高くて君はすごい。とか

だからなんだ。と思うんです。

その人の本当の魅力や価値なんて、そんな薄っぺらいものさしで測れないし、

そんなものさししか置いてない世界で自分は生きていけない。って

 

「自分に嘘をついて明るくアクティブな女の子を演じればそれが正解で、内定がもらえて嬉しい。」

いや、嬉しくない嬉しくない。

 

 

就活レールから外れてみた

 

ともかくわたしは就職活動という人生のレールから外れました。

友だちは日立とかTOYOTAとかイケてる大企業でエリート街道まっしぐらです。ああそれはそれで眩しい!

 

今思うと、レールから外れる決心をつけるまでが大変でした。

両親に「せっかく大学行かせてもらったのに、フリーターになるかもしれないごめぇぇxry」と鼻水たらして泣いた夜が懐かしいっす。

 

 

 

就活やめたらいろんな生き方が見えたよ

 

レールを外れる決心がついたら、そこからの回復は早かったです。

気がついたら、すっげえ未来に対してわくわくするようになってる自分に驚きました。

 

元々人ごみがニガテで電車に乗れなかったわたしは、

「今が移住するときだ。」と荷物をまとめ近畿をぐるっとまわり出した。とにかくあてもなく人の縁をたぐっていったんです。

たどり着いたそこには自分で仕事を作り出してる人がたくさんいて、

インド帰りのヨガ教師兼Webデザイナーとか

月の半分旅してるパン屋さんとかね

きっと普通に就職していたら、出会えていない変人たちが日本にいることを知りました。

 

たとえその仕事が小さくて月の売り上げがたった5万だけだって、

その人が1から作り上げた仕事だ。ってことが本当に魅力的に見えたんです。5万だって4つやれば20万になるんだよ。

 

そんな人たちに共通している考え方がひとつあって

価値を生み出せば、それが自然とお金になる。ってこと

世の中にはいろんなビジネス書や成功のための本があって、難しいロジックが並んでいるけど、実はとってもシンプルだったりして。

 

 

がむしゃらに自分の生きる道を探せ

 

 

これからどうなるか分からないわたしは、なんも言えないんですけどね。

もしホームレスなってたらあざ笑えよおめえら!!

 

世間や企業に求められる自分と上手に折り合いをつけて、ぼちぼち楽しく働いてる子ってごまんといます。

でもね、自分の気持ちを押し殺して生きてる子だってごまんといるんですよ。

 

世間のレールから外れればすぐ人生が終わるほど、人間って弱くない。

それよりも、自分を隠して他人のために笑顔をつくる人生の方がよっぽど怖いって思います。

 

やりたい事とか、挑戦したいことがあるなら、まじで今すぐやるべき。

 

自分が本心から望んでとった行動って、たとえ上手くいかなくても絶対マイナスにはならない。

それに絶対後悔しません。

 

 

ほんで仕事決めました。遠回りになったけどわたしの謎の就活は一応終了。ってことで

さっ、卒論書くぞー。

 

 

【こちらの記事もおすすめです】

 

 

 

 

246 件のコメント

  • いいんじゃないですか自分のしたいことして生きれるならそれが一番ですしね。
    ただ、就活時期になっていきなり自分探しを始める人が多くてびっくりします。一番時間に自由がある大学時代になにをしてたんだと、ただ何も考えずダラダラすごして遊んで就活が始まった途端自分探しに逃げる人はよくわかりません。
    今までなにも考えてこなかったのを社会や環境のせいにして現実逃避することは私には理解できません。

  • 現在大学3年生です。
    私も全く就活というものにやる気が出ません。就職もしたくないなぁ〜と思ってます。「じゃぁどうしたいんだ」と言われると「どうしたいんでしょうね?」といまだ人生模索中です

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