インド人に学んだ”他人に迷惑をかける力”があなたの器を10倍大きくする。

 

 

 

ふつうに生きていれば他人に迷惑をかけないなんてありえない。

じゃあ助けてもらったとき、あなたはなんとお礼を言いますか?

 

「ありがとう」と言える人をわたしは尊敬している。

なぜならわたしはとっさに「すみません!」と言ってしまうからだ。

 

↓そのときの思考はこうだ

「迷惑をかけることはダメなことダメなことダメなこと

すみませんすみませんすみませんすみませんうううああわああぁぁ・・」

 

 

 

人に”迷惑かけられない人間”は器が小さい

 

 

「本当はこうしたい。でも迷惑がかかるかもしれないから止めておこう。」

このような考え方は日本人にとても多い。

”迷惑をかける”ということにとても敏感になっているのだ。

 

そんな人は自分の意見よりも”周りに迷惑がかかるかどうか”を優先してしまうため、

自由に考えを伝えたり行動することが難しく、自分よりも周り優先の生活を送ってしまっている。

 

その結果どんなことがおこるのか。

「人に迷惑をかけてはいけない。」と自分を締め付けるあまり

人から迷惑をかけられる事も受入れられない人間になってしまうのだ。

 

人に迷惑をかけない。という拘束が、

結果として相手の迷惑を受入れられない器の小ささを生み出してしまうのである。

 

 

 

 

”迷惑をかけてはいけない”という日本の価値観

 

そのような価値観がついてしまう背景には、

人に迷惑をかける事は「悪い事」とされる日本的な価値観が大きく影響している。

 

なにかあれば自己責任で、周りに迷惑がかからないよう一人で対処することが

この国では”美しいのだ”

 

”迷惑をかけてもいい”インドの価値観

 

ではインドではどうなのか。

わたしがインドにいた頃、突然目の前で殴り合いのケンカが始まった。

 

もし日本でそんなケンカがあれば、あなたはどんな反応をするだろう?

「自分は関係ない」「迷惑をかけられたくない」とその場を離れるか、遠巻きに見物しているのではないだろうか。

 

インド人は真逆だった。仲裁しようとどんどん人が集まってきた結果、現場がプチパニックになったのだ。

その行動が理解できなかったわたしは、近くのおっさんに話しかけた。

 

「あんな迷惑な人達ほっとけばいいのに、どうしてみんな助けようとするの。」

「インド人は迷惑をかけられるのが好きなんだよ。」そうおっさんは言った。

「」なんっっじゃそれ

 

なんでもインドにはこんな格言があるらしい

人に迷惑をかけてもいい、その代わり迷惑をかけられたら助けなさい。

この言葉を聞いたとき、わたしはインド人を心の底から好きになった。

 

 

 

ただ人に迷惑をかけちゃだめ。は間違い?

 

 

日本人の頭に刻まれている価値観をインドのおっさん風に言うと、

「人に迷惑をかけちゃいけない、でも迷惑をかけられたら助けなさい。」となる。

 

こんなことが出来る人間が世の中にいるのだろうか。マザーテレサでも迷惑かけてるだろ。

 

この”美しい”とされる価値観を無理して受け入れるより、ぱっと捨ててしまうことであなたは何倍も自由になることができる。

 

ありがたいことに、最近では自殺やうつ病がピックアップされ

「人に迷惑をかけることはいけない」という価値観そのものが違うんじゃないか。と見直されてきている。

しかしまだまだ根強く残っているのが現状だ。

 

あなたは人に迷惑をかけ・かけられることを快く受け止められますか。

 

 

 

インド人を見習って器の大きな人間になろう。

 

インド人っていろいろと問題は多い。

だが彼らは困っている人間を必ず助けてくれる。

現にわたしも助けられた人間であって、彼らの懐の深さには驚かされた。

 

しかし!その何倍もわたしは迷惑をかけられたし、ワガママに付き合わされた。

その度に「センキュ〜〜」とにやにや歯を見せる相手を殴りたくなったことはともかく、

 

人に迷惑をかけてもいい、その代わり迷惑をかけられたら助けなさい。

 

迷惑をかけるがゆえに、深い優しさで相手に接することができるインド人を、

わたしは心から尊敬しているのである。

 

 

 

こんな記事もおすすめです

 

 

 

 

 

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